The Blasphemous Book

The Fools' Wedding in Paradise

2010-10-29T16:29:00.000-07:00

ehold the fool, who sayeth in his heart, that good is evil, and evil is good. Ruin shall come to him.

2.How many are they, who seek in Hell, a Garden of Eden, and sail off to her fair ports, only to find that the water hath been turned to poison.

3. Now it came to pass, that from the West there did sail a wedding party, a ship of fools, to consecrate their sacred vows of marriage in the presence of lawless men and their false god, Allah, who is but Satan in disguise. They came to seek the blessings from the Sons of Allah, and instead received curses, for they were fools and wot not, because they wished not to wot.

4. For the Sons of Allah and his prophet, whose body is hoist evermore and writhing on the fiery pike of the True Judge, where he awaits his just deserts, did invite their guests, and in their language did abuse and mock them.

5. Yea verily, there are no secrets with the Oracles, and they shall forever be renown for their simple minds. For they sought not the blessings of Christ, nor did they seek to be His Bride, but instead, exchanged blessing for cursing, from the mouths of blasphemers.

6. And that is what the Sons of Allah and his lying prophet do, and that, right well.

7. And the fools, as fools never learn, are once more surprised.

May We Remember Thee, O Lord

2010-08-30T20:27:00.000-07:00

n the days before the Fall of the Mighty Nation, a man, whom God had blessed with wit and wisdom and faith and good speech did exhort the people of the nation to prayer and called to one and all, and as many who would come, to come and gather in the capital and pray for the people to be restored to remembrance of God, and to honor and service.

2. And behold, many were they that came.

3. And the gathering was held at the monument of one of their greatest leaders, a man afflicted by sorrows. By the thousands came they, with their families and neighbors, from far and wide, came they, to exhort one another to honor and prayer, for the nation had strayed afar, and was as a ship without its moorings in the face of an evil wind and crashing waves. And the captain, who should be at the helm was asleep, instead, and all the yeomen say, "Peace and Safety and Prosperity." and there is not.

4. And it came to pass, that the Emperor, The Gelded Child, did play and make merry, alway, even as his people suffered and withered, for their fortunes were lost, and now they were without. And the Emperor heard them not, and dismissed them as 'bitter'.

5. Now the Manipulators of Perception, long ago discarded and now ignored by the people as "truth-tellers," did mock and deride the man who called the people together, and they, having lost all sensibilities, did lie and berate those to whom they were charged to chronicle the days in truth.

6. For what was written about them, that having eyes, they see not, and having ears, they hear not and they believe that if one pretendeth hard enough, it will just all go away.

The Prophets of the Unbelievers Prophesy Truth

2010-08-05T06:35:00.000-07:00

ehold, as the love of many hath waxed cold, when many free born people of the world hath grown content in themselves, and do not lay upon their beds in fear for the wrath that is to be revealed against them,

2. There came prophets. Unbelieving and godless men, who saw better the truth and bravely spake against the people who would lie 'pon their cushions of comfort and sing 'Peace and Plenty!'

3. For truth is self-evident. It cannot be spoken away, though the world raileth against it. It cannot be ignored, except by willful means, and by stubborn self delusion.

4. And they spake the truth in siccan manners as to cause the other godless among them to become sore vexed and wrathful. For they only disbelieve the God of Abraham, Moses and the prophets,

5. and moreover do they take wicked glee in blaspheming the Saviour, who is patient and forgiving. But even the unbeliever who cannot see his own error,

doth attest to it against the lying prophet, who is flayed upon the eternal rack of endless sorrows, and his minions, who do lie constantly, and without shame.

6. An God blesseth even the ass which speaketh true words as He putteth in her mouth, mayhap He will fill up the mouth of the man who seeketh with all his heart to speak that which is true and just, for even as Balak demandeth cursing, Balaam may only bless.

Whither Thou, Charles Martel? Thy People Do Beseech Thee!

2010-07-18T00:10:00.000-07:00

Charles de Steuben's Bataille de Poitiers en Octobre 732

t is said of the race of Gaul, that there be not a man of spine among them, for in wars do they prove duplicitous and cowardly allies and in peace do they duplicitously wage war in secret upon their friends.

2. Now it came to pass, in the span of two and one half score years, that the men of Gaul did invite their former vassals to live in peace in their midst. And they were called 'guest workers'.

3. And their vassals were the Algerian and the Moor, who are the sons of Allah and his prophet,

...who is now and evermore the clyster bag of Satan.

4. In the course of time, after many generations of guest workers had been born, the men of Gaul did look around and behold a terrible and wondrous thing.

5. For as far as the eye seeth, in all the streets of Gaul, at the stroke of the twelfth hour of the Sixth day, do a million arses of the sons of Allah rise as one sphincter to worship in the manner of their prophet, who is *see picture above*.

6. And the men of Gaul, they do quake, and grow fearful, for now their guests are become invaders, and even now do wage unholy war upon them.

7. But the Manipulators of Perception decried their fears, with soothful sayings, "Fear not, for they are but youths who do rage and burn and destroy."

8. And the sheriffs, who were sore afraid themselves, did make a list, and upon it decreed whither the men of Gaul may walk unmolested and whither they must never walk at all, for fear of slaughter. And likewise, the sheriffs said, "Look ye not upon them, nor speak of them on the internets, else we prosecute thee!"

9. And with threats and entreaties do the weakened men of Gaul stand aghast in their own home, for they were fools, and were selfish, and were not fruitful, neither did they multiply, and so they have lost their country and their culture to the raging sons of Allah.

10. Now it came to pass, that two sons of Allah did seek to rob with violence and with weapons that are outlawed, for that is what they do, and that, right well. For to rob an infidel is permitted, but in the West robbery is called lawlessness. And the sheriffs gave chase, whereupon a son of Allah did fire, and was likewise killed.

11. And so the sons of Allah, once more, with feeling, do riot, and destroy their homes, and burn and rampage and wage war upon the men of Gaul anew, who, having forgot their history, do suffer the consequences of allowing guests to stay more than three days in their house.

We Bare Our Necks, Mayhap They will not Cut our Throats

2010-07-11T11:49:00.000-07:00

little slumber, a little sleep, a little folding of the hands to rest, began the Preacher, a little forgetting, a little relenting, continueth the blogger.

2. A little lie, told here, to thine own self alone, and there, to another not far yonder. A lie that is sweet, and goeth into the marrow, completely.

3. Soon, thou wilt be insensible as Prince Charles if thou but relentest, just a little.

4. And ripe for slaughter.

The Unholy Warriors of Allah Fight Against the Powerful Pen, Which They Wield Not to Their Benefit, Nor Right Well at That

2010-07-10T22:19:00.000-07:00

MUHAMMAD PREACHING (PAINTING BY GRIGORY GAGARIN DATED 1845)

ow, when the unholy sons of Allah and his prophet - may he be counted as the appetizer, the main course and dessert of the eternally Damnèd, with free refills on his bitter tears evermore - array themselves for war, which they wage alway, they slaughter not with sword, nor with fire...at the first.

2. But with lies and boasting outrages do they attack and conspire against the Wise Men of the West who are not politicians, and changeable as the wind, but are men of firm convictions and waver not. And their weapon is likewise, not the sword, but the pen, which they indeed wield masterfully, for they speak the truth about the evil false prophet and his false god, who is but Satan in disguise.

3. And the murderous sons of Allah cannot abide the truth, and so they fight against it, first, with noise and tantrums.

4. And in the West, the sons of Allah recruit helpers, who are traitors, and they are called "Quislings", for with honeyed words do they seduce the gullible and weak minded and the politicians, saying, "Peace, peace, Islam is peace!" And for the betrayal of their countrymen, they are paid their 30 pieces.

5. And lo, these are they, who speak for Allah and his cursèd prophet: The teacher, the politician and weak willed women who allay the rational fears of sane folk, and conspire they with the Manipulators of Perception, who say, "Believest thou not what thine eye hath seen, nor what thine ear hath heard, for they do lie. Believest thou our words, instead."

6. And many are they which do believe the lie, and together turn aside all wisdom and discernment, for it taxeth them overmuch to think for themselves.

7. But the Wise Men of the West are rare, for their eyes are not fooled with pageantry, neither are their ears stopped with honeyed persuasions, but they see straightly and narrowly, and they write that which they see with fables and parables and drawings and this doth anger both the sons of Allah and the Manipulators of Perception and maketh them sorely wroth.

8. Perchance, on occasion, there cometh one or two from their ilk, who telleth the truth unflinching, and they are brave and must needs be attended by the lazy mind, ere it is too late, and the sons of Allah and his prophet, shall wage war on us all, when they have finished with the Wise Men of the West. Pay ye, therefore heed, and shrink ye not from the truth, though the liars may burn ye, and ye are slaughtered apace.

9. And may the Lord bless Vlad Tepes and KGS who do subtitle and impart knowledge to us who would otherwise remain in darkness. And likewise, bless the Baron and Dymphna, who take many slings and arrows for the truth.

Egregiastes

2010-07-07T12:40:00.000-07:00

nsanity, insanity saith the blogger. All is insanity.

2. For what doth it profit a political party, to gain power, only to lose donors by laying upon them heavy taxes? It then must needs extract its lucre by means of force, and thus risk the wrath of its former supporters, who then turn to other parties and give of their means to vote out them whom they formerly supported.

3. Insanity, insanity, mocketh the blogger. All is insanity.

4. How great and imminent is the fall of that nation, where once she traveled the stars, and to the moon, and gazed in awesome wonder at the Vast and Beauteous Creation, yet now she groveleth in the dust before the ignorant and rash sons of Allah, the scions of their prophet's backwardness and savagery.

5. Insanity, insanity, rageth the blogger. All is insanity!

6. For one generation smiteth its progeny, when they are inconvenient, and then, in the fullness of age, waxeth old and demandeth of the young who are fewer, to support them in their dotage, and find it is now their turn to be inconvenient.

Parable of the Geese

2010-07-02T13:52:00.000-07:00

Painting by Faigee Niebow

ear now, ye seekers, the parable of the geese.

2. In the twilight of seasons, in the North, ere winter cometh, they take flight, and no man guideth them to their appointed nests in the South.

3. And when they take flight, they darken the sky, and fill it with noise. And by that we know they are moving to and fro. And that winter cometh soon, or that spring is well upon us.

4. But geese, when they have all their cares meted out to them by foolish men with only the best of intentions, lose their desire to fly to their proper nests, and finding some convenient pond, there upon they settle, and grow fat, and make demands of the birds who are native to the pond, and befoul their waters and take their provender, and hatch younglings, who stay and cause the other birds to flee.

5. Look well to your own pond, therefore, that the geese take not which is yours and leave you with neither nest nor sustenance.

The Fool King Telleth a Wicked Tale

2009-06-10T15:52:00.000-07:00

n the waning days of The West, the Fool King, in an effort to appease those lawless Warlords of Allah's House, went forth abroad and did speak to the denizens of Allah's House, telling wicked and foolish lies:

2. He told a wicked, wicked lie, which is perniciously spread by the lawless sons of Allah's prophet, whose bowels forever pass the gas of pigs in the presence of the Mockers whom he has slain, may they be justified in eternity.

3. And here is that wicked lie: That Moses the Lawgiver, and Jesus the Messiah and Mohammed, the false prophet of Allah, who is but Satan in disguise all did worship together and they did pray together. But this is a lie, and verily, this is what indeed, came to pass:

4. In the Plain of the Dead, Moses the Lawgiver was questioned by the vile, false prophet of Allah, who is Satan in disguise. And the false prophet did ask Moses, "Art thou a Jew?"

5. And Moses, speaking the truth, did say, "Yea, verily, it is so. I am a Jew." "And is thy father a Jew, and likewise, thy mother a Jew?" "Most certainly, false prophet, my mother was a Jew, and also my father, and my brother and sister are Jews as well." And being filled with rage, the false prophet of Allah, who is but Satan in disguise, did cut off the head of Moses.

6. And turning to Christ, he demanded to know if He were a Christian, and Jesus spake, saying, I am a Jew, and my mother was a Jew, and my father is God, who will judge the quick and the dead.

7. And Mohammed, who became crazed with madness, took Jesus and did crucify him anew.

8. And this is what is done these very days, by the sons of Allah and his false prophet. They continue to behead, and to crucify, for they follow their false prophet, and say thus, "he is the perfect ensample to all mankind, let us be like unto him."

9. May God forgive them, for they have no understanding. And may we gird up our minds, because we have understanding, and are therefore, without excuse.

10. For e'en though a lie hath been told oft and is durable, once the painful truth is told, the lie loseth its charm.

11. And the once confused and now liberated soul doth make merry, in spite of the best efforts of the Liars and Soothsayers and the Manipulators of Perception....as clearly demonstrated in the following bit of revisionist video history:

Who teacheth the Teachers?

2009-05-29T22:00:00.000-07:00

ehold, in the Days of Lunacy, in the rainy isle of Britain, there were a craven and sniveling folk who believed themselves to be wise and understanding, and did their best to impart such reckless sensitivities in their acolytes, but in truth, they were fools, and they were called "Teachers"

2. Now, teachers wishing to impart this nonsense into the minds of the students, chanced upon what they thought was a brilliant idea. They decided that Christian children should be forced to pray to Allah, and recite the prayers of Allah.

3. And the parents of the children were wroth and sought to put an end to such chicanery, but lo, the teachers forced these children to do that which they would otherwise not do.

4. And one child, a little boy, who knew the scriptures and prayers of Allah, for his parents had been followers of the prophet of Allah, may his teeth rot with pain for ever, and they were now Christians.

5. And spake the child to the Fool and saith, "If I am to recite the prayers of Allah, I would become a follower of Allah, and the Prayer, once spoken, can never be unspoken, and I must do all that which is required of me in Allah's Unchanging Scriptures. Therefore, I must needs kill thee., for it is written in the Book of Allah and the Prophet, may he give birth to swine for all eternity, that I must slay the infidels wherever I find them, and lo, here thou art! An Infidel, as surely as I am now a Christian.

6. So choose ye, carefully, lest I choose that which will benefit neither of us, but only bring to ruin everything.

7. And the Teacher pondered, and thought it best to assign some other bit of homework, instead.

The Midget Prince and the Weapon of Doom

2009-05-25T19:30:00.000-07:00

n the end days of man, before his foolishness caused the entire world to go mad, there were wise men. Men who could create powerful weapons out of the smallest grains of sand. For verily did not our Lord say, "If ye have faith as a grain of mustard seed, ye shall say unto this mountain, Remove hence to yonder place; and it shall remove; and nothing shall be impossible unto you."

2. And such men had deep knowledge, and great faith, and wisdom. But by treachery and deceit, did their dangerous knowledge fall into the hands of wicked men, who would think nothing of using this knowledge to destroy the world and all that was in it, including themselves, for in the end, that is what tyrants and fools alike do, when they possess knowledge of which they are unworthy.

3. And many years had passed, since the wise men discovered the power to destroy utterly, and now the wicked men of the world all possessed this power, and still others, even more evil were looking to possess the power to destroy utterly.

4. And behold, on the solemn Day of Remembrance, where the freeborn men in the Land of Liberty remember their Fallen Heroes, who died that they may live in Peace and Freedom, an evil man rose from the Misty Half-Peninsula of the Ignorant. He thought himself to be a god, but he was a tyrant, and a fool, and a midget.

5. He decided to show the world that he now possessed the power to destroy utterly, and he unleashed the Fires of Hell, causing a great many to fear and wonder.

6. But in the Land of Liberty, the Fool King made empty threats against the midget Prince, and he was scorned and ridiculed, for he was at heart a coward, and the tyrants of the world and the free born men alike knew he would do nothing but talk, because that is what fools do.

7. And the people in the Land of Liberty did wax exceedingly dull and fat, having forgotten the Prophecies written down from long ago. And they did not listen to their prophets, neither did they heed their warnings, but went from bad to worse, until the day of reckoning, when all was fair and bright in the world, and they considered that the world would continue thus, as it has always been, so it always would be.

8. Alas, they were wrong. For in the end days of man, before his foolishness caused the whole world to go mad, before the Manipulators of Perception and the Soothsayers arose and led many astray, and deceived even the faithful, there were wise men, prophets who spoke the truth, and in those days, the prophets were called 'comedians'.

Battle of the Melody

2009-05-25T10:11:00.000-07:00

n the days when the world was governed by lawless tyrants and inhabited by savages, it was divided into two realms: The realm of the Civilized, also called The West, whose denizens were educated and had at their disposal devices which accomplished for them every task imaginable. And the other realm was known as the House of Allah and his prophet, may he be mocked evermore.

2. The West had ships that carried goods from hither to thither. They created large birds of steel, that could fly them to and fro, over a great many miles. The West also had music, beautiful music, played skilfully by well-trained musicians. And many other ways to entertain themselves.

3. Compared to the House of Allah and his prophet, may wasps nest in his stomach for eternity, the West was very like the Paradise written in their holy book, which told of Virgins, and rivers of wine and endless pleasures, if the believers would but die and kill for Allah.

4. And it made the lawless savages angry, because they must die and kill in order to attain the very Paradise which already was in the West!

5. And so it came to pass, that the Sons of Allah would go out from their House, and travel to the West.

6. And seeing how much better was the West than Allah's own House, many of them would stop believing, while others, seeing how much better the West was than Allah's House would burn with resentment, and they became more savage and foolish, and did seek to destroy the West from within its own borders.

7. Now it came to pass, that a ship called 'The Melody' was full of Elders. And The Melody had with them skilled musicians, who performed beautiful music on the deck of the ship, while the Elders assembled to listen.

8. Now, the Elders came from an island called Britain, where many Sons of Allah were wreaking havoc upon them, for the Elders had foolishly allowed many of them to come there to live, believing they would honor the rules of Law and be civilized, and were sorely vexed to discover that the Sons of Allah did not wish to be like them in any way, but held them in disdain and contempt, and forced them to pay them the tax which they call the 'jizya', and to be humiliated.

9. And the rulers of Britain, and sheriffs could do nothing, for they were fools, and hated the Jews, and despised the land of Israel, which also the Sons of Allah hated and despised, and God held them in derision for having chosen stupidity and foolishness over justice and mercy and truth, and punished them with even more sons of Allah, being born into their midst, to cause havoc and chaos, for in these things do they exceed, those sons of Allah and the prophet, may dogs devour him forever,

10. But certainly, not all of the Britons, as they were called, were foolish and hated both Jews and the land of Israel, for the Elders on the ship hired a Jew, and an Israelite to protect them while at sea, for they heard how brave and fearless the Israelites are in battle.

11. And it came to pass, while at sea, The Melody did venture into waters infested with pirates, who were children, from the land of Somalia, which is in the House of Allah.

12. And they came with powerful weapons made in the West, in fast boats made in the West, in order to take hostages and hold them for ransom, for that is the only industry in the land of Somalia, and many young men, who know nothing but stealing and killing, were eager to be pirates.

13. But the Elders, seeing that their vessel was being boarded by the pirates, did gather quickly the chairs, and the tables, and all that they could lay upon with their hands, for they had no weapons themselves, did throw as much as they could onto the pirates' heads, til the pirates fell off their ropes, into the sea.

14. But the Israelite, aimed his weapon and fired at the pirates, who grew sore afraid and fled, for the men of Israel are fearsome warriors, and not easily defeated.

The Fool King

2009-05-21T09:25:00.000-07:00

n the beginning of the Republic, the people governed themselves, and elected men to pass laws and to do the will of the people. It was designed, from the beginning, that the nation, having hard fought a long and bloody conflict and now free from the Tyrant King George and his armies, should no longer be a nation of one man's whim, but of laws.

2. Although the young nation was imperfect in implementation of the notion that all men are created equal, and more wars would be fought to make all men equal, some violent, and some peaceful, many more people came from the far flung places in the world to make the Republic their home, and the Republic grew into a mighty nation, loved by the people, but feared by tyrants, for in the Republic, the people did govern themselves.

3. But slowly, evil men, calling themselves Progressives, with their evil ideas crept into high places, and they passed evil laws.

4. And they taught their evil ideas in the schools and in the universities, and as a result, the people grew fat and lazy. And they did not govern themselves with rigid self-control, but became lawless, doing that which was right in their own eyes, and not that which was good and lawful.

5. And the nation, which was Christian in its infancy, was now corrupt and filled with unbelief, and forgetfulness.

6. And the people waxed cold, and grew slothful, and became like spoiled children, who demanded to be pampered and fed, and entertained, as did Rome of ancient times, and so their judges and rulers, who came from within their midst, were very like them, to the detriment of all.

7. Now it came to pass, that in the Two Hundred and Thirty-Second year of the Republic, the people, tired of the Wars Against Allah and his prophet, may he thirst evermore in the presence of the Living Water, and may he famish evermore in the presence of the Bread of Life, did raise up from their midst a ruler who was untried in battle.

8. And so he had no understanding of war and neither had he understanding of warriors. He was a ruler who had never ruled, nor did he understand business, but was corrupt within and without, who sent violent thugs to enforce his bidding, for he was but was a fool who spouted nonsense that tickled the ears of the slow-witted people, and they, being easily duped and dazzled, did make him King and Ruler of all.

9. The Fool King had no sooner come into power, that he began to meddle in affairs that did not concern him, and because the people feared him, they did not prevent him from stealing that which was not his, nor did they try to stop him when he flouted the laws and did that which was utterly despicable.

10. The Senate came together and voted to restrain the Fool King, who wanted to let free some violent Sons of Allah and the prophet, who breathes evermore through his bung hole in the dung heap of the damned, who were waging a war against all humanity in a most despicable manner, for they would hide in the midst of people unawares, and when the soldiers came to hunt them would kill both innocent and guilty alike, and these same evil warriors would turn themselves into weapons of fire and death, and kill many more innocent.

11. And so the former ruler, seeing how dangerous these vile creatures were, vowed to end their reign of terror, and captured many of them. And they were sent across the wide sea to an island, where they were kept in a prison that was built for them.

12. But the Fool King, who despised the former ruler, decided that he could do anything he wanted, and assembled the Congress and the Senate and gathered the Soothsayers and Manipulators of Perception, and told them he would let the Sons of Allah and the prophet, who is covered in honey and devoured forever by the beasts of Hell, into the republic.

13. And so, came to an end of the Law in the Republic, and the people will be punished accordingly, for having elected for themselves a Fool King who had no wisdom. And that is how the Eternal gave them up to do that which they thought was right in their own eyes, and this is how He punishes those who reject Wisdom and Law and Truth, and embrace folly.

The Tale of the Land Pirates

2009-05-12T12:29:00.000-07:00

n the far-off land of Liberty, in the place called Virginia, in the town of Roanoke, there did dwell some pirates.

2. Alas, since they dwelt not near the sea, where there were ships to commandeer, but near the foot of a Great Mountain Range, where no ships sailed, they found it most vexing that they could not ply their trade.

3. And so the pirates conspired one with another, saying, "O Brothers, wherefore we have neither ship to sail, nor crew to lord over, let us search among the wealthy of this town, whom we may capture and hold for ransom."

4. And they sought, among the Christian and white inhabitants of the town, and among the women, whom they deemed weak, and not very smart, for the young pirates were brazen sons of Allah and his prophet, may his feet be cemented in the Burning Furnace of the Jinn, forever, and they believed that it would be but an easy thing to capture their quarry.

5. And so they set out, and knocking on the door of the woman, made up a story to lure her into their trap.

6. Yea, and when she opened her door and saw the pirates, she screamed for help, and shut her door, catching the arm of one of the pirates, his brethren having fled.

7. And the Sheriff of Roanoke captured the pirates, and threw them into the jail, where they sit, even to this day, regretting their ~~career choice~~ getting caught.

The Humble Servant Zakariah and the Ignorant Learned Men of Allah

2009-05-11T09:18:00.000-07:00

n the land of Egypt, in the time of the reign of Mubarak the Despot, there did abide in the country some Christians, who were called Copts.

2. And they were poor, and their lot was to pick garbage. And they were persecuted by the followers of the Prophet, may his bowels be cast upon the rocks, and

oft times did they provoke the Christians, and steal their children.

3. And the Christians grew weary of their sufferings, and pressed their rulers for justice.
4. And the Law, which was in those parts known as Shariah, heard not their cries, neither did the judges incline their ears toward their plight, and the rulers and the Sons of Perdition did heap more abuse upon the Christians.
5. Thus, were the Copts taxed beyond measure, and oppression covered the land. And it seemed that they were without hope, and that Our Lord and Saviour did hear them not.

6. And so the Christians prayed. And their plight became known, far and wide, by word of mouth, yea, the very birds of the air did tell forth their suffering with great haste, and many were their Christian brethren who gathered, and prayed without ceasing for The Eternal to show them mercy, and comfort.

7. And many of the Christians remembered the admonitions of Our Saviour, who commanded us to pray for our enemies, and to bless those who curse us, and Who, when he was crucified and reviled by His brethren, forgave them, for they knew not what they did.

8. And there arose, from their midst, a humble servant of Christ, a man named Zakaria.

9. And the hand of God and the wisdom of Solomon was in his mouth, and many of the Lost Sons of Allah and his vile prophet did turn away from the devil, and gave heed to the words of Zakaria.
10. And Zakaria was very learnèd in all the ways and the scriptures of the False Prophet, may he hang forever upside down in a pit of adders, and did exceed the knowledge of the Ignorant Learnèd Men of Allah, who spoke follies far and wide on everything under the sun, and thus did lead many astray.

11. And the people hearing Zakaria, humble servant of Christ, marvelled, for behold, here was a man who was not a follower of Allah nor his prophet, may he freeze in the deepest pit of Hell, neither was he afraid of the prophet or his followers, and with great bravery, spake he the truth and did not shrink from their cursings and threats.
12. And thus, did he bring many to the true knowledge and many were saved because of him.
13. And the Teachers were jealous, and envious of the humble servant of Christ, Zakaria, for his knowledge was true and when it became known far and wide what evils lay in the books of the sayings of the Prophet and his friends, many of the Sons of Allah were repulsèd and ashamed, and asked the Teachers of Allah if these things were indeed in the books, and the Teachers of Allah scorned them and brushed aside their questions, and threatened them with beatings and prison if they asked what they could not answer.
14. So, seething and filled with rage and wrath, the Teachers of the Laws of Allah, vowed to kill the humble servant of Christ, Zakaria.
15. But the humble servant of Christ, Zakaria continues to taunt the Ignorant Learnèd men of Allah, and lives to this day, making disciples of Christ and snatching many souls from the Fires of Hell.

The Christian High Priest and the Sulking Sheiks

2009-05-10T18:06:00.000-07:00

here was once a Christian High Priest, named Benedict, whose name means "He who Speaks Goodness", and though his kingdom was but a tiny castle in the land of the Romans, he had many subjects scattered to the four corners of the world. And when he spake, they drew from him great comfort and joy, for he knew the truth, and spake forthrightly and fearlessly.

2. Now spake Benedict, bravely, concerning the evil ways of the Wrathful Prophet of Allah, who suffers in agony for eternity, and how he made disciples from among the Christians and Jews by threats and by slaughters, and how he causèd heavy burdens to be placèd upon them, til they relented and converted to the Religion of Allah and his prophet, may he fester in the dung of the damnèd, and be consumèd by flies.

4. Now when the Sons of Allah and his prophet, may his bones be chewed by dogs, did hear these words, they were wroth and did sulk greatly, for the words of Benedict were true, and they could not abide truth, and they began to curse Benedict and rain down threats upon him, as is their wont.

5. Now Benedict did arise and seek audience with the Sulking Sheiks, who demanded that he recant and apologize for offending them, and say that their religion was one of peace and tolerance, else they would grow more furious, but Benedict apologizèd not, and thus the
Sulking Sheiks did seethe and did they sulk some more.

The Unhappy Yemenite Looketh for Jews to Slaughter, and findeth Naught

2009-05-10T11:43:00.000-07:00

ehold, in the Land of Yemen there did dwell some Jews, who were forever persecuted and slain by the True Believers, until they which continued to live, fled from there, while those who remained, were sought after and slain, according to the traditions of the sons of Allah and his prophet, may open, festering boils cover his eyes forever.

2. And lo, sorely vexed were the sons of Allah and his prophet, May his memory cease, when slain was the last Jew, and then did Allah and his jinn did mirthfully mock them, exceedingly, til the sons of Allah and the Prophet, who roasts evermore in the fires of Nahr, did seethe and turn on themselves and slaughtered themselves without mercy.

3. For the one said to his brother, Behold, thou art not a true Believer, and thus did retort the accusèd and offended brother, Yea verily, but I am, more so than thou art , and thus, one arose and smote the other.

4. And then did Allah with his consort of jinn mock them, exceedingly, for they were a foolish and gullible lot, having bred a man with his niece, and father with his daughter, til madness overtook their senses.

5. And wherever trod the sons of Allah and his prophet, may he weep with bitter tears and remorse and find no comfort, did they bring with them Chaos, and Destruction, and Sorrows Beyond Measure.

6. And lo, there were none to aid them, and to teach them the path of wisdom, for they were hard-hearted, and full of theft and murder and wrath, and slew all whom the Eternal sent as helpers and comforters.

7. Behold, their lot is Perpetual Darkness and Ignorance, til they turn, and repent.

8. Learn o mortals, and mourn, for they come as pests to devour. And you will not find peace.

The Egyptian Sheikh's Fatwa

2009-05-10T11:35:00.000-07:00

nd lo, in Egypt during the reign of Mubarak the Despot, there did come, with a great and noisy hypage, a plague named for the most delicious of animals, which were property of the Christians.

2. And frightened were the ignorant learnèd men of the School of Allah and his prophet, who shall be revilèd, in this life and the life to come.

3. And they conspirèd, one with the other, and said, "Behold, yon crisis is too good to be squandered! Let us, therefore go into their midst and slaughter the pigs, who are but Jews in disguise, for since the days of Pharaoh, we have a dearth of Jews for slaughter, when the need arises.

4. For ye know well, my brethren, that it is written in the texts of the Elders of Zion, that Jews drink the blood of Christian children on the Days of their Passover, and that, on the Day of Resurrection, the Cross Worshipers in turn, eat the flesh of the swine, who are but Jews in disguise. And they do also that day eat the macaroni with cheese and the green beans with the smoked and cured flesh of the swine, who are but Jews in disguise.
5. And thus, they went forth upon trumped up charges against both the Jews, who were but pigs in disguise, and Christians.

6. And the Sons of Allah and his accurst prophet, who is to be damned evermore, did find new ways to kill, for in death do they excel greatly